Before line by line: I’m standing before you, a decidedly middle-aged woman, round, doughy and blinking through smudged glasses. It’s six p.m. We are in a VFW Post drinking bitter coffee from Styrofoam cups. I look worried and I am. It’s my turn to disclose. All eyes, expectant, are on me. I clear my throat, swallow and say, “My name is Linda . . .” I pause, unsure if I should proceed.  What will you think? That I’m a fool, a loser? I want to run, but I’ve come this far. Instead, I steady myself and blurt out the words, “. . . and I’m self-published.”

After line by line: Before you I stand,(1) a decidedly middle-aged woman, round, doughy and blinking through smudged glasses. It’s six p.m. We’re(2) in a VFW Post drinking bitter coffee from Styrofoam cups. I’m worried.(3) It’s my turn to disclose. All eyes, expectant, are on me. I clear my throat, swallow, then(4) say, “My name is Linda — ”(5) I stop cold.(6)  What will you think? That I’m a fool, a loser? I want to run, but I’ve come this far. My confession tumbles out.(7)  “And I’m self-published.” (8)

Reasoning:

1. In the first sentence, a decidedly middle-aged woman, follows the word you. One could assume then that you are a decidedly middle-aged woman. To correct this, I rearranged the starting prepositional phrase so that the qualifying phrase is clearly about me.

2. We are changed to We’re. A conversation style sets an intimate tone.

3. I look worried and I am changed to I’m worried. First person faux pas. How can I look at myself without a mirror?

4. and changed to then. Clearer progression. Less simultaneous action.

5. “My name is Linda . . .” changed to “My name is Linda —” Ellipsis denote a trailing off, an em-dash an abrupt interruption. I made this change after I made a change in the following sentence.

6. I pause, unsure if I should proceed, changed to I stop cold.  More punch, action, decisiveness.

7. Instead, I steady myself and blurt out the words, changed to My confession tumbles out. Cleaner and crisper.

8.“. . . and I’m self-published.” changed to “And I’m self-published.”  Ellipsis denote a trailing off and are used at the end of a line of dialogue. Misuse of punctuation.

As illustrated, every sentence can be a minefield. The above changes were made after I’d tweaked the paragraph many times. Line by line editing is subjective and I suspect no two writers or editors would make the same changes. Still, there are many common mistakes: 

- Redundant nouns, pronouns, verbs, and phrases.

- Overuse of passive voice construction: was, were.

- Overuse of adverbs (ly verb), infinitives (to+verb) and present participles (ing verb)

- Cliches.

- Complicated tense as in past perfect, had to, have had to, had to have been.

- Metaphors/similes that miss the mark. 

- Simultaneous action. As/While construction.

- Profanity.

- Cause and effect problems.             

- Continuity issues, i.e.,  Jimmie in one place, Jimmy in another.

- Weird sentences that, quite frankly, make no sense.

Line by line editing is fine tuning that will make your writing sing.

Line by line editing is careful consideration and takes time. But there’s a huge payoff: focusing on small sections of words improves writing ten-fold.